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Things didn’t pan out in London, where I had to swipe 70 times before finding anyone worth the hangover.

And I won’t even tell you about Puglia, where 300 guys named Marco shared pictures of their mammas and their privates I am not exaggerating when I say I matched with (almost) every single guy I swiped.

These guys are your classic douchebags and are relatively easy to spot. The French haven’t really wrapped their minds around the concept of “dating” yet. They’ll probably refer to you as their “girlfriend” after the second date, say “I love you” some two weeks into it, and possibly propose to you before a year is up. There’s one technique I’ve experienced a few times that I call the washing machinewhen a guy sticks his entire tongue in your mouth, doesn’t move his lips, and swirls his tongue around in big, circular motions. But they’re also not afraid to drink a Cosmopolitan in public. Obvious bonus: an accent so hot that they can read the small print on a beer bottle and make it sound sexy. A French man’s personal style is very uniform-y, and he tends to have a closet filled with variations on the same outfit.

But if #3 is any indication of how they’re catching up, I’d advise you to act now before they figure out that dating five girls at once is an unfortunate common practice in America. Good news for you if he’s into basic jeans, cashmere sweaters, and well-cut blazers.

And I am not some online-supermodel-goddess; I am 36 and looking for something serious, and pretty clear about that in my self-description. We split the bill, and I went looking for steak frites alone..

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Prostitution is not illegal in France, although pimping is.

, in which case the idea of French love has likely traumatized you.) I’m one of those who became a fool for the idea of Parisian romance, which is why I’m now living there and in a successful relationship with a native (after many failed attempts). (Hint: If you speak just the slightest bit of French, you gain points.

For those wondering what it’s like to date a Frenchman, here are 15 things to knowincluding the truths, myths, pluses and quirks. Don’t worry about your atrocious accent because they think it’s cute.) They love American girls because they’re fun and enjoy sex, whereas French girls tend to have cyber-coded chastity belts locking up their vaginas. In many cases, sleeping with him on the first night is the kiss of death for a relationship. On the other hand, many French boys have figured out points #1 and #2, and know how to use it to their advantage. But for the nice French boys, it’s helpful to know that he’s likely not dating anyone else besides you. If you’re all about making out in front of grandmas on the subway, then there’s no problem. Despite claiming fame to the “French kiss,” not all French guys are good kissers. True: they love eating (but not all know what outstanding food is, or how to cook) and love a good wine.

Pierre had a daughter living in Belgium, and a business just taking off.

There was no way our lives could or would ever mesh, but by all standards, it was a great date.

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I don’t believe hookup culture has infected our brains and turned us into soulless sex-hungry swipe monsters. It doesn’t do to pretend that dating in the app era hasn’t changed. Tinder arrived in 2012, and nipping at its heels came other imitators and twists on the format, like Hinge (connects you with friends of friends), Bumble (women have to message first), and others.

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